Your Fiance 

One of the most difficult parts of becoming a wife is submitting to her husband. In a previous post, I’ve listed several books that thoroughly explain what this looks like and how it’s done. Though the Biblical command does not apply to soon-to-be-brides yet, it’s a good time to start practicing! As a an normal Christian, we are told in Philippians 2:3-4 to “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” That means we should be defering to each other’s preferences rather than insisting our own way.

For example, you may really want a videographer to capture all the precious moments on your wedding day. However, your fiance would rather use that $1-2 thousand for the honeymoon.  If after expressing your opinion, your fiance still insists on skipping out on the extra expenses, then it would be best to die to yourself and give up your desires. Of course it’ll be difficult, but God will honored.

  Parents

Your fiance isn’t the only one with preferences.  Both sets of parents probably also have their own ideas of what the day should look like. Your wedding will be your last opportunity to honor your parents while being under their authority.  Ephesians 6:1-3 says, ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”’ It’ll be such a joyous day, and defering to their desires will show your appreciation for all that they’ve done in bringing you up.

The world will keep telling you that your wedding is YOUR day. Unfortunately, it’s not. Christ is first, your fiance and parents are next, some other people may be in the mix, and then it’s you. Of course, you’ll still make your wedding as nice as you can. But keeping these things in mind will prevent you from becoming discontent if things do not go your way.

I’ve decided to include the passage about our two favorite sisters because everyone knows that wedding season gets super busy! (That’s why the show “Bridezilla” exists!) Instead of focusing on the “one necessary thing,” our lives become consumed with the upcoming big day. Before we know it, we look at everything through the lens of wedding planning. “This restaurant is great! I wonder how much their banquet menus cost.” Throughout the planning process, my mother had to constantly remind me that good weddings did not result in good marriages. The best way to prepare for marriage is to cultivate godly character through reading the Word and through prayer. If the flowers fall apart at the wedding, people can deal with it. If you fail to prepare your heart through consistently spending time with the Lord, your marriage will suffer!

Luke 10:38-42 

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.

When Christian couples are about to get married, they usually discuss the issue of birth control.  Below is a link to a Challies Weblog about its various issues. Here’s an exerpt:

“Bad Reason #1: Fear of Provision – The Bible tells us repeatedly that God will provide for us. Thus we have little reason to fear that we will end up destitute and unable to provide for our children even if we choose to have a large family.

Bad Reason #2: Dislike of children – The Bible is clear that children are a blessing and are to be regarded as a blessing. People who just don’t like children ought to examine their hearts and look for the reasons that they would regard God’s blessings as anything but a privilege.

Bad Reason #3: Selfishness – There are any number of reasons that could fall under this one. Some people simply do not wish to allow children to interfere with their lives. Some do not wish to have their careers disrupted or disturbed by a family. No matter the specific reason, selfishness is not a valid reason to avoid having children.

Bad Reason #4: Fear of Overpopulation – There is very little evidence that human overpopulation is an imminent problem or that it will ever be a problem. God created this world to house and sustain us and He gave us no cause to worry about overpopulating it.

Bad Method #1: Abortion – The Bible makes it clear that human life begins in the womb and that it begins at the moment of conception. It is also clear that we have no right to terminate human right on a whim. Therefore abortion as a method of birth control is never an option for the Christian.

Bad Method #2: Abstinence – The Bible makes it clear that spouses are to have sexual relations regularly and are never to abstain for long periods of time. A refusal to have sex based on the fear of pregnancy is not a valid method of birth control. Many couples use brief periods of abstinence as part of the “rhythm method” of birth control. Depending on the length of abstinence this may or may not be a valid method. I would suggest that if one or both members continually struggle with lust during these times, this may not be a valid method for them.

Bad Method #3: Certain contraceptives – Certain contraceptive devices, rather than blocking or preventing conception, instead destroy or disrupt pregnancy. If we believe that life begins at conception, we must also believe that these methods of birth control cause abortions and the death of a human being. Therefore they must be avoided.”

For the entire post: http://www.challies.com/archives/articles/the-christian-a.php

For research on the biological aspect: http://www.epm.org/articles/bcpill1.html

This post is not meant to be legalistic, but just something to think about. It’s from Caroyln Mahaney’s blog Girltalk.

Todd Murray:  ”Ladies, please don’t forget to apply these principles of modesty to formal events and weddings.  In recent years, I have become increasingly grieved by the immodest dresses of both brides and bridesmaids at the weddings that I officiate.  I have observed a number of young ladies in our fellowship who have dressed modestly all their lives appearing on their wedding day in extremely provocative dresses, exposing more of themselves than on any other day of their lives. ..”

Rest of the article: http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/a_pastors_plea.html

*Keep in mind that two people can wear the same thing and it looks modest on one and immodest on another.